Coach K and The King in Cleveland?

A simple no would probably do or maybe hell no or in the words of the immortal Chad Ochocinco, "CHILD PLEASE!"  I know the Cleveland spin...Danny Ferry is the GM and played for Coach Mike Krzyzewski at Duke and Lebron James really likes and respects him from their time together on Team USA.  Ask yourself this why would Mike Krzyzewski leave Duke for a Cleveland?  The court in Cleveland will never be named after Coach K like the one his team plays on in Durham.  I know the $$$ would be great, but no greater than the money he turned down in LA to coach the Lakers.  Lakers or Cavaliers??? Which team do you think anyone outside of Cleveland would pick?  The window has shut, Coach K is not leaving Duke where he has a great chance to repeat as National Champions this upcoming season. 

Here is the other thing about the NBA that any coach needs to consider even Hall of Famers from the College level; no pro sports league devalues the coach more.  It is the ultimate player's league always has been and always will be.  Coaches are the easiest piece to replace unless you name is Phil Jackson, Pat Riley (when he comes back), Larry Brown, Greg Popovich, Jerry Sloan, and perhaps Doc Rivers at least in Boston.  Mike Brown's team won .663 of their games highest winning percentage all-time in Cavaliers history and five straight playoff appearances, but no title and the hometown hero appears ready to runaway from home.  Brown's biggest mistake was apparently allowing players relatives near the locker room.  He should have run a better defense to keep Gloria James (Lebron's mother) away from teammate Delonte West (allegedly of course).

Back to Coach K and why he will not and should not bother with the NBA.  He coaches Team USA already the best of the best.  These guys understand the urgency and importance of international play, therefore, he gets maxim effort.  You do not get that on a nightly basis in the NBA with a less talented roster and playing 82 regular season games.  Duke is not going on probation anytime soon like..I don't know say Kentucky (just throwing a name out there).  So there is nothing to run away from and he gets paid well by Duke and Nike.  Plus he writes books, does commercials, a national radio show, and could have any speaking engagement he wanted.  So please enough about the money, no one is holding a benefit for Coach K in the near or distant future.  His bank account will be ok even if he never takes a professional job. 

One other thing if Coach K really wanted an NBA gig he could wait out Phil for the Lakers gig or how about the hometown Chicago Bulls they have a vacancy and good roster and most importantly enough cap space to get Lebron to move. No offense Cleveland (but here it comes), Chicago and LA have more to offer free agent coaches than the City that Rocks.  So who should Cleveland try to hire?? Phil Jackson (no way),  Jeff Van Gundy, Avery Johnson, John Calipari, or Tom Izzo. How about someone out of the box so to speak, like Lebron's mom Gloria James! I mean she was the only one this season to stop the league MVP this season (allegedly of course). 

Great Wall of Chinatown

The Bullets Wizards finally had some good luck after decades of failed lottery attempts and YES the Kwame Year!  Raise your hand if you thought this was going to be another pathetic night for the DC hoops franchise.  I was among those expecting this to be the icing on the cake of the Pollin legacy of shattered dreams (You know we had a real good year in 1978).  Instead it was beautiful ending to an ownership group that loved the team like family and represented the city with class. Sure the franchise did not win enough over the years, but no owner brought more to the city than Abe Pollin.  Sure this lottery win is not the second title he had hoped for before his death, but maybe it will be a building block for one down the road. (By the way many fans think the lottery is fixed.  I do not subscribe to that conspirarcy theory, however, I'm just sayin', the Wizards sent a heck of a lot of people to the Secaucus studio; Irene Pollin, Ted Leonsis, and Ernie Grunfeld.  They certainly went with purpose. One last thing thank you David Stern!)

It was also a fantastic beginning for the most beloved DC Sports owner Ted Leonsis, who has been really good at these lotteries with an NHL and NBA lottery win on his resume (I'm hoping to get this weekends Mega Millions numbers from him).  Hopefully John Wall can do for the Wizards what Alex Ovechkin has done for the Capitals (No not flame out early in the playoffs!).  Wall is the goods an electrifying player that can make everyone around him better.  The league has set up the rules for point guards to dominate with no hand checking or touching of any kind. Rajon Rondo is doing a nice job exploiting that for the Celtics in this post season.  If you don't have Kobe or Lebron you need a kick ass break you down point guard.  That is what Wall brings.  Oh can he play with Gilbert Arenas?  Is that really a question I keep hearing and reading?  IF Gilbert is even a Wizard when the season starts the question should be can he play with Wall.

Another thing about John Wall and this will be foreign to Wizards fans, he plays DEFENSE!  No joke your point guard is allowed to do that in the NBA.  For all the Evan Turner lovers out there I think UNC's Ed Davis (son of former Wizard Terry Davis) summed it up best to Rick Bonnell of the Charlotte Observer, "I'm telling you: You can get another Evan Turner, another Wesley Johnson, another Al-Farouq Aminu," Davis said of the various top-five candidates. "But John Wall is the only one in this draft who can do the things he can do, ALL the stuff that he can do."  Plus don't get me started on Big 10 basketball and how AVERAGE it has been recently and Turner is not Deron Williams by the way.  Another thing, Wall played for John Calipari for just one year and so did Derek Rose and Tyreke Evans both have won the last two Rookie of the Year awards in the NBA.  Wall is a true franchise player, which the Wizards have so desperately needed and now they have to work on finding the right pieces to put around him.

Notes: Does anyone else feel sorry for the City of Cleveland?  I do...talk about heartbreak city, they could lose their franchise player (Lebron) because of an "alleged" affair his mom (Gloria) had with teammate Delonte West.  I know her lawyer is trying to pour cold water on this so to speak something Delonte should have done to himself.  This alleged incident could go down as one of the City's worst sports moments especially if the King runs away from home via free agency.  You already had the drive that crushed the city (Elway), the fumble (Byner), the shot (MJ over Ehlo), the move (Browns bolting for B-more), and the 1997 Game 7 World Series lose to the Marlins (no nickname sorry).  Now you have The Affair and ironically teams all year were worried about stopping Lebron in the post season and all it took was momma!  On the bright side for Lebron at least your mom didn't sleep with Tiger.

Can Abstinence Cause Neck Pain?

Well it turns out Tiger Woods only has an "inflamed facet joint" that is causing his neck pain. Now none of the doctor's will say it but I will, Tiger's neck injury is probably do him constantly looking over his shoulder to see if he is about to be served divorce papers.  Or perhaps it is from a lack of sex? Could you imagine how much funnier this story would be if Tiger had a wrist injury?  Or blisters on his palm?  I still can not believe Nike is not selling "Tiger Woods Blue Balls." Everyone would be playing with those things, except Elin of course. 

Things have been tough for Tiger lately (all-time understatement by me), first his neck, then his swing coach quit, and now TMZ says his wife is lawyering up for the big divorce. My neck would hurt like hell if I was about to lose half of my fortune.   To me the most amazing part of this Tiger meltdown since Thanksgiving is Elin still has not officially filed for divorce.  I mean this woman must not ever surf the net, watch TV, read newspapers (well no one does anymore), listen to the radio, or talk to her neighbors (Tiger allegedly got to know one of them well she was part of the 121 he shot).

I could sit go on and on about how traumatic this must be for the kids, but that stuff is not funny.  Sure he is technically still the world's Number #1 but he sure does not play like it anymore. (Could the "Buddha Bracelet" be to blame? Just sayin' )  No one must feel worse about what's happened than PGA Commissioner Tim Finchem.  I mean this guy had the world in the palm of his hand as long as Tiger didn't retire, suffer a career ending injury, or as we come to find out screw everything in site.  If Tiger does not come out of the funk the PGA Tour will certainly slide back to the sucky TV ratings they used to get when just old white men fell asleep watching it on the weekends.  Finchem might want to start thinking about another sports league maybe he could see if Roger Goodell needs any help with the NFL's confusing drug policy.

It's not just Finchem that needs Tiger to be Tiger. The entire world of golf needs him.  So he needs to man up and tell Elin to either serve the papers or get over it and be a good wife (for the record I do not believe this).  If she says go f#$X yourself well, which she will, at least he will no longer be snapping his sore neck around wondering where and when the papers are coming.  Then Tiger should treat himself to a dinner and dessert like he used too at the local Perkins in Orlando because clearly he is not capable of playing Championship golf with blue balls.

Hey, Hey, Hey Where's Fat Albert?

The Redskins had a "voluntary" mini-camp this weekend where 99% of the players were in attendance.  The lone absentee just happened to be the team's highest paid player Albert Haynesworth or better known as in DC now as Fat Albert.  The irony to me is the cartoon character Bill Cosby created was the best friend a guy could have.  He was always there for his buddies, meanwhile, the Skins Fat Albert can't even muster up the strength to show up to these "voluntary" workouts to support his teammates and meet his new coaching staff.  Ok while we are on a cartoon kick here remember the great scene in "Spiderman" when Peter Parker's Uncle Ben tells him, "with great powers comes great responsibility."  Well in pro sports with great talent and BIG contracts comes great responsibility, but someone forgot to let Fat Albert in on it maybe he did not have an Uncle Ben. 

So where's the beef ...besides on the Fat Albert's breakfast/lunch/dinner/and second dinner plate you might ask?  It appears Fat Albert does not want to play in the new 3-4 defense of new Defensive Coordinator Jim Haslett.  His peeps contends this is not what Fat Albert signed up for last off-season where he broke the bank for over $100(m).  So he is only going to show up when the workouts are mandatory.  I just hope for his sake he's in shape (unlike last year) when he does show or Mike Shanahan's face might get even redder than its normal shade. Most everyone that has ever had a real job has had to deal with some sort of change at work and sometimes it really sucks.  However, most of us just suck it up and deal with it b/c we understand that is what employees do or you get fired.  It is not that simple in pro sports especially when you are the highest paid employee.  Fat Albert has the hammer, but that doesn't make it right and it certainly is not going to win you any popularity contests among the fans. 

Meanwhile, Fat Albert's teammates really are not defending him.  They just say things like, when he gets here he will fit in.  I had a chance to talk to a couple of his defensive teammates this past weekend on 1067 The Fan, Chris Wilson and HB Blades both would not rip their absent teammate, but in the next breath both talked about the importance of these voluntary sessions for learning the new system and bonding with their teammates.  Mike Wise in his column in Monday's Washington Post http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/05/09/AR2010050903014.html has some juicy stuff from teammates like Phillip Daniels. "It says this is voluntary, but for us, what we went through last season after a 4-12 season, it's mandatory," Daniels said. "He should definitely be here. And it's a shame he's not." So it's not some crazy fan/media frenzy getting on Fat Albert's case here.  Did I mention the new guy, you know #5 Donovan McNabb is already getting real high marks for his leadership skills as he not just fits in with a new team but makes it his. In only a months time McNabb has clearly earned the respect of the locker room something Fat Albert may never be able to do. 

Notes: The latest Clinton Portis v. Lavar Arrington war of words got me to thinking, who hasn't this guy gotten into a verbal war of words with?  Remember the great battles with Brian Mitchell, "my pockets are straight!"  I believe there was a battle with Riggo too and of course he dogged Jason Campbell this off-season.  I mean, Who's next Mark Mosley?  How about one of the Zendejas brothers or how about a dead legend like Sammy Baugh?  I mean enough already Clinton.  Just run the damn football like you did in Denver and you can rip franchise favorites like Art Monk and Darrell Green or even Sonny and Sam.  Just produce again and it's all good.

Tasered Fan=Teaching Moment

Most of the news and sports talking heads are wasting their and our time debating whether the force was excessive in the tasering of a 17-year old (Steven Consalvi) that ran onto the field at a Phillies game this week (OK IF I was actually working this week I too would be wasting the world's time on this topic...Bitter..YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT! THIS TOPIC WAS MADE FOR ME). Anyway, the bigger question is where were the players? I mean what is the deal with the Phillies Outfield? What a bunch of sissy's to sit back and watch! No Mike Curtis among them? The Former Baltimore Colts LB once jacked up a fan that ran on the field during a game. His point was it was his office! Stay out. Exactly! Good for the Police for using force maybe the next idiot will think twice OR maybe not because some drunk tried the next night no taser unfortunately. By the way give the Phillies Fans credit for booing the copycat who unfortunately was not tased b/c he surrendered to security (sissy!).

Of course the news media loves to pick up these stories and run them into the ground. Why are Police using tasers more often, blah, blah, blah. Would it have been better if they clubbed the dumb ass? Or just pulled out the 9m and shot him? They have no clue what the idiot is up too when he comes charging onto the field. I mean did he really think they would chase him like they did to Tanner in the "Bad News Bears in Breaking Training", and fans would start to scream "let them play, let them play?" My favorite part of the story is the kid called his dad and the father said "does not sound like a good idea to me." Yet the dumb kid did it anyway! Did he think he was in an episode of MTV's "Jackass"? This video is gold for all fathers of "knuckle head son's" and aren't all son's knuckle heads? (I should know) I have showed this video at least 10 times to both my boys and explained, "This is why you listen to your parents because we are ALWAYS RIGHT." (It is ok I had my fingers crossed)

Notes: Bret Michaels, gave us Something to Believe In! He is headed home after suffering a brain hemorrhage. I'm no doctor, hell I went to ODU for goodness sakes, but I'm just saying maybe just maybe wearing bandanas every day could be a problem or those cheesy cowboy hats? Just saying.

Lucky Charms Mascot Wins 3rd Derby

He entertained us for years in those silly commercials for that sugar based cereal now Calvin Borel has strung together three Kentucky Derby wins. What a life! (Ok cheap joke, but man thank goodness for horse racing or all the "little people" that's the PC name for them b/c they don't want to be called midgets anymore. Anyway, if it wasn't for horse racing they would have to settle for Reality TV or those stupid "Austin Powers" movies unless of course they had a remake of the "Wizard of Oz.") I have to admit I thought with a name like Super Saver, the horse was owned by the people from Wal-Mart, but the Kentucky Derby is hardly the Wal-Mart crowd. Well at least the part they show us on TV. No it is rich people with woman wearing stupid hats and getting stupid drunk. The Wal-Mart crowd hangs at the infield of the Preakness in Bal-more drinking Natty Bo's.

Speaking of acting drunk, what about Calvin Borel? I mean good thing he is in a sport (use that term loosely) that allows obnoxious celebration without penalty. I mean this guy would make Deion Sanders and Chad Ochocinco blush with all his post race antics. Roger Goodell would suspend him for the season if he was in the NFL. The NBA would triple technical him, MLB pitchers would throw at him all the time for showing them up, and in the NHL they would just call him "Ovie." I mean you would think after winning two already you would understand the phrase, "Act like you've been there." Also, was it me or was he degrading the woman who interviewed him after the race? How many times can you say baby, honey, sweety and "make me a turkey pot pie bitch", and not get called out?

If anyone should have been over celebrating it should have been the guy (Glen Fullerton of Houston, TX) who won the dream bet. I mean the chance to throw $100,000 grand on one horse and the best part is you are betting with someone else's money. Well CNBC money and Churchill Downs to be exact. (I was shocked to learn CNBC actually made profit. I mean no one watches the "lefty talk shows" right? They only like the angry "righty talk shows" oh wait...even worse CNBC is the channel you tune that tells you that your retirement fund has been drained and Goldman Sachs are a bunch of thieves, my bad. Is that the channel where they used to show the dead guy on radio Don Imus, sorry not dead just looks it) So this Fullerton guy bet on Borel and Super Saver and boy did they come through for him by and paid $900,000. Can you imagine $900,000 for one race! Wow what a life changer and this guy says he won't spend it all in one place. However, for those of you watching we all know where he should spend it. On a new toupee or buy hair club for men or perhaps a DC favorite Mr. Ray's hair weave. Anything is better than the dead animal he wore on his head Saturday, although it may be his lucky charm like a rabbit's foot.  Not that it matters now that he has $900,000 in his bank account because the ladies will over look the toupee for $$$. Just ask Donald Trump!