World Cup: FIFA's Answer To Tim Donaghy

Ok let me get this out of the way for all the soccer haters that do not want to deal with the injustice that took place Friday in South Africa.  Here it goes, the US team came out flat and were bad for most of the first half and dug themselves a 2-nil hole.  Ok haters you happy now?!  Next item of business they then dominated Slovenia scoring THREE unanswered goals to get the 3pts.  However, it really didn't work that way instead they were awarded just two of the goals and settled for a 2-2 tie. 

Why?  Well referee Koman Couilibaly, who probably has a Swiss Bank account, waved off the third American goal, which was scored by Maurice Edu.  What for you may ask?  No one knows because apparently David Stern runs FIFA too.  They refused comment about the play.  Speculation is offside was called on Michael Bradley or Edu was called for a foul on the shot.  Replay shows neither and actually showed FIVE Slovenia defenders putting WWE moves on the US attackers.  I know it is part of the game especially in international competition.  However, this is not some regular season ACC game that Karl Hess ruined.  This is an event that happens every 4 years.  So if team USA does not get into the next round this could be there 1972 Olympic Basketball moment. 

Ok, controversy aside this game was a helluva lot more entertaining than the U-S Open and Game 7 of the NBA Finals.  I could care less what the TV ratings say both were so poorly played throughout it made the "LOST" Finale look good.  I guess we can blame the golf on the USGA because that is what the golfers usually do. (Also, let's get this out of the way, Tiger Woods was a better golf when he was sleeping around)  However, the NBA is another story, face it if the two teams playing were not named Celtics/Lakers the game would have been universally ripped as one of the biggest letdowns of all-time.  It was BAD basketball on the Biggest Stage.  Save me your Defense defense!  How ugly was it?  It made me yearn for the great Detroit and San Antonio finals of 2005. Even Jeff Van Gundy said it was bad offense and he would know because he made a living coaching bad offense. 

Ok back to the World Cup..Off the pitch things have been entertaining too.  The disappointment of the highly touted England Team and of course the French Surrendering...again!  However, they did go back to work on Monday and good idea since they can still actually advance to the round of 16.  France plays South Africa on Tuesday and must win and needs help. If Mexico and Uruguay draw the other Group A match, France will be eliminated. Could you imagine if Team USA pulled this crap?!  The headlines would scream, "Ugly American's" all across the world and for our friends in England, really?  This is what you guys were all drunk over?  A draw with the little Old United States and Algeria?  One Goal in two games? I mean if it was not for BP this group would be the most hated guys from England since the Red Coats.

WTF: Vinny Back at Redskins Park!

Some of the all-time greats in franchise history convened at Redskins Park Thursday and somehow Vinny Cerrato snuck in.  I mean who the hell is in charge of security?  This is the biggest gate crashing scandal in DC since the Salahi's got into the White House dinner.  WTF is Vinny doing anywhere near the park?  Did he and Danny have a racquet ball game later in the day?  Were Trung Candidate, Brandon Lloyd, and Adam Archuelleta also invited?  I mean Cerrato is so unpopular among Redskin fans Albert Haynesworth could beat him in a popularity contest.  Of course Vinny was the guy that armed Fat Albert with the big contract.  So it was amusing to read his thoughts on the Fat Albert Saga. 

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/redskinsinsider/albert-haynesworth/cerrato-haynesworth-would-like.html

Washington Post Redskins Reporter Jason Reid got some good stuff from Vinny on the man he overpaid. 

"When he signed, he said he wanted to prove everybody wrong," said Cerrato, the team's executive vice president of football operations during the 2008-09 seasons. "He said he wanted to show everybody that it's not about the money. He said he wanted to be the best that ever played. He said he wanted to be like Reggie White. He said Reggie White was his hero, so live up to what you said. Don't have it change just because a coach changed."

Albert probably also told Vinny he didn't like strip clubs. There is more from Vinny on Fat Albert.
 
"To me, he signed with the Washington Redskins and not the 4-3 defense when he signed that contract," Cerrato said. "He's got to be concerned about team, you know? There's no 'I' in team. He needs to quit thinking about himself and worry about the team and how he can help these guys, you know?"

I like what he said even with the cheesy no "I" in team reference.  However, the quote is meaningless because again Vinny has ZERO credibility not only with Redskins Fans, but in the NFL. 

One of the actual Greats at the event was former Head Hog George Starke, who told Washington Post's Dan Steinberg  what he thought about the new approach at the park.
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/dcsportsbog/2010/06/george_starke_on_bruce_allen_a.html

"The first thing it means is that the change in the administration from Cerrato to Bruce Allen is a good thing for the Washington Redskins, because Vinny didn't like us around," said legendary Hog George Starke. "He didn't like former Redskins. He wasn't part of this family. And as a result of that, the Redskins never went anywhere. You know, [most] of these guys out there on that field have never been in the playoffs. On this side, you've got guys here with four rings.



"And so Bruce, when he came in, the first thing he did was he called Brig Owens up, he called me up, he said the Redskins will never be successful as an organization unless we all come together. He's absolutely right. He says 'I want everybody to come out, I want you to come out all the time, I want you to be part of the deal, otherwise this team won't be successful.'

"And that's absolutely right. And that's what he did, so that's why we're here.....Whereas the Vinny guy was the exact opposite. He wanted to do it himself and he didn't know how to do it....

You know Starke is not the only former Redskin to feel this way, which begs the question, WTF was Vinny doing there?  It has been a well run off-season for the Redskins with the hire of Mike Shanahan, trade for Donovan McNabb, and drafting of Trent Williams.  So I will give the Skins a pass on the security breach and assume there was a racquet ball game to played.

World Cup Buzz: Tim Howard=George Washington

The 2010 World Cup is off and running and the USA fans are fired up over the team's 1-1 win   tie with England and why not.  The English were supposed to beat down the United States and early on it looked like that would be the case.  However, much like a big matchup between the two countries in 1776 one man changed the outcome.  United States Goalkeeper Tim Howard made incredible save after save keeping the U-S in the match and Clint Dempsey did something more players need to do when given space, shoot the DAMN BALL!  Sure England's Goalie Robert Green bobbled it or was it the juiced Adidas ball that bounced funny, who cares Goal Team USA. However, the goal would have been a side bar had Howard not played so heroically (bruised ribs and all) to keep his team in the game.  Meanwhile, his English counterpart Green has already begun the process of defecting to the United States after the World Cup. 

For all the soccer haters and there are plenty in this country just shut up and turn on NFL network and watch guys run around in shorts and helmets at OTA's. Leave the soccer and World Cup fans alone to bask in their every 4 year glory.  I understand you are tired of all the talk that soccer will take over this country someday as a spectator sport.  No it won't, but it has been the kicking the competitions ass as a youth sport for years. We know all the pitfalls for it in this country, lack of scoring, not our game, lack of scoring, even our best players are overseas playing not in the MLS (not a real estate code/name for US pro soccer league), and of course the lack of scoring.  Maybe if goals were worth 7 points casual fans would get more excited about it? Better yet who cares!  Just enjoy it if you do and ignore if you don't.  Did I mention the lack of scoring?

Final thought on the REAL story of the 2010 World Cup.....the noise!  Yes that constant bee buzzing sound or is cicada's coming out to mate?  It is actually called a vuvuzela, which is a plastic trumpet that has become the unofficial sound track of the World Cup. Despite the whining about the noise, World Cup organizers are refusing to ban them from matches.  This decision comes despite mounting pressure from players, broadcasters and even some fans who wanted it to stop.  Here is the thing everyone needs to remember.  This is South Africa's World Cup and the vuvuzela, named after the Zulu word for "noise," is considered a symbol of South African heritage, its sound a show of support for the country's team, Bafana Bafana.  So in other words get over it or use your mute button or do what I do drink a lot of beer and take three Advil.

Happy 40th Anniversary Now Get Out

You gotta hand it to the Gore's they know how to celebrate a wedding anniversary.  I mean Divorce has now replaced the Ruby as the 40th anniversary gift (Ok before my guy friends say how would he know Ruby is for your 40th? I looked it up on line you know the thing Al Gore invented).  Al and Tipper (what kind of name is Tipper? Was she a Bad Tipper? It is actually a nickname) could become trendsetters for the new 40th anniversary gift....FREEDOM!  The odd thing is all the reports over the year's claimed the couple was living a "Fairy Tale" Marriage and yet here it ends.  Meanwhile...yes I'm going there... Bill and Hillary Clinton are still "together."  That's right the guy who got the Lewinsky in the Oral excuse me Oval Office is still with his wife, but his former Vice President the guy who appeared to be the one with the morals is splitting with the love of his life. 

Once again we should be reminded the moral to this story is no different than the Tiger Woods Story or "Wide Stance" Larry Craig Story.  Just because someone is portrayed one way publicly does not necessarily make it reality.  The oddest thing about this Gore split up is the way they are portraying Tipper as the fun one of the couple.  Wait a minute!  This is the same woman that wanted to censor all of my favorite "Hair Bands" back in the 80s.  You call that fun?  Which really speaks to how Big a Bore Al Gore must be. Divorce is sad, but let's assume the Gore's know what is best for the Gore's and not lose too much sleep over this thing.  I mean its not like they have a baby at home and are living paycheck to paycheck.  They just bought a damn mansion down the street from Oprah for goodness sakes! 

I am rarely surprised by the media and yes I'm sometimes one of them, but I am surprised this story has so many struggling for words.  I mean why is this separation so tragic?  Gore is no longer in office and to this point no sorrid tales of a third party or worse someone in the Tea Party (Tea Bagger...really great nickname).  The only way this becomes a tragic story is if we find out Al is living a double life like Tiger Woods or God forbid Tipper is on the now infamous Tiger list of conquests (not that big of stretch if you have seen the Perkins waitress Tiger took home on a few occassions).  I just hope this is not some John Edwards kind of story, where it turnes out a  former Gore aide is going to release a book and has possession of some sex tape or a love child OR worse Tipper in a sex tape with a former lead singer of a hair band.  I just don't think the American public could handle it.

Coach K and The King in Cleveland?

A simple no would probably do or maybe hell no or in the words of the immortal Chad Ochocinco, "CHILD PLEASE!"  I know the Cleveland spin...Danny Ferry is the GM and played for Coach Mike Krzyzewski at Duke and Lebron James really likes and respects him from their time together on Team USA.  Ask yourself this why would Mike Krzyzewski leave Duke for a Cleveland?  The court in Cleveland will never be named after Coach K like the one his team plays on in Durham.  I know the $$$ would be great, but no greater than the money he turned down in LA to coach the Lakers.  Lakers or Cavaliers??? Which team do you think anyone outside of Cleveland would pick?  The window has shut, Coach K is not leaving Duke where he has a great chance to repeat as National Champions this upcoming season. 

Here is the other thing about the NBA that any coach needs to consider even Hall of Famers from the College level; no pro sports league devalues the coach more.  It is the ultimate player's league always has been and always will be.  Coaches are the easiest piece to replace unless you name is Phil Jackson, Pat Riley (when he comes back), Larry Brown, Greg Popovich, Jerry Sloan, and perhaps Doc Rivers at least in Boston.  Mike Brown's team won .663 of their games highest winning percentage all-time in Cavaliers history and five straight playoff appearances, but no title and the hometown hero appears ready to runaway from home.  Brown's biggest mistake was apparently allowing players relatives near the locker room.  He should have run a better defense to keep Gloria James (Lebron's mother) away from teammate Delonte West (allegedly of course).

Back to Coach K and why he will not and should not bother with the NBA.  He coaches Team USA already the best of the best.  These guys understand the urgency and importance of international play, therefore, he gets maxim effort.  You do not get that on a nightly basis in the NBA with a less talented roster and playing 82 regular season games.  Duke is not going on probation anytime soon like..I don't know say Kentucky (just throwing a name out there).  So there is nothing to run away from and he gets paid well by Duke and Nike.  Plus he writes books, does commercials, a national radio show, and could have any speaking engagement he wanted.  So please enough about the money, no one is holding a benefit for Coach K in the near or distant future.  His bank account will be ok even if he never takes a professional job. 

One other thing if Coach K really wanted an NBA gig he could wait out Phil for the Lakers gig or how about the hometown Chicago Bulls they have a vacancy and good roster and most importantly enough cap space to get Lebron to move. No offense Cleveland (but here it comes), Chicago and LA have more to offer free agent coaches than the City that Rocks.  So who should Cleveland try to hire?? Phil Jackson (no way),  Jeff Van Gundy, Avery Johnson, John Calipari, or Tom Izzo. How about someone out of the box so to speak, like Lebron's mom Gloria James! I mean she was the only one this season to stop the league MVP this season (allegedly of course). 

Great Wall of Chinatown

The Bullets Wizards finally had some good luck after decades of failed lottery attempts and YES the Kwame Year!  Raise your hand if you thought this was going to be another pathetic night for the DC hoops franchise.  I was among those expecting this to be the icing on the cake of the Pollin legacy of shattered dreams (You know we had a real good year in 1978).  Instead it was beautiful ending to an ownership group that loved the team like family and represented the city with class. Sure the franchise did not win enough over the years, but no owner brought more to the city than Abe Pollin.  Sure this lottery win is not the second title he had hoped for before his death, but maybe it will be a building block for one down the road. (By the way many fans think the lottery is fixed.  I do not subscribe to that conspirarcy theory, however, I'm just sayin', the Wizards sent a heck of a lot of people to the Secaucus studio; Irene Pollin, Ted Leonsis, and Ernie Grunfeld.  They certainly went with purpose. One last thing thank you David Stern!)

It was also a fantastic beginning for the most beloved DC Sports owner Ted Leonsis, who has been really good at these lotteries with an NHL and NBA lottery win on his resume (I'm hoping to get this weekends Mega Millions numbers from him).  Hopefully John Wall can do for the Wizards what Alex Ovechkin has done for the Capitals (No not flame out early in the playoffs!).  Wall is the goods an electrifying player that can make everyone around him better.  The league has set up the rules for point guards to dominate with no hand checking or touching of any kind. Rajon Rondo is doing a nice job exploiting that for the Celtics in this post season.  If you don't have Kobe or Lebron you need a kick ass break you down point guard.  That is what Wall brings.  Oh can he play with Gilbert Arenas?  Is that really a question I keep hearing and reading?  IF Gilbert is even a Wizard when the season starts the question should be can he play with Wall.

Another thing about John Wall and this will be foreign to Wizards fans, he plays DEFENSE!  No joke your point guard is allowed to do that in the NBA.  For all the Evan Turner lovers out there I think UNC's Ed Davis (son of former Wizard Terry Davis) summed it up best to Rick Bonnell of the Charlotte Observer, "I'm telling you: You can get another Evan Turner, another Wesley Johnson, another Al-Farouq Aminu," Davis said of the various top-five candidates. "But John Wall is the only one in this draft who can do the things he can do, ALL the stuff that he can do."  Plus don't get me started on Big 10 basketball and how AVERAGE it has been recently and Turner is not Deron Williams by the way.  Another thing, Wall played for John Calipari for just one year and so did Derek Rose and Tyreke Evans both have won the last two Rookie of the Year awards in the NBA.  Wall is a true franchise player, which the Wizards have so desperately needed and now they have to work on finding the right pieces to put around him.

Notes: Does anyone else feel sorry for the City of Cleveland?  I do...talk about heartbreak city, they could lose their franchise player (Lebron) because of an "alleged" affair his mom (Gloria) had with teammate Delonte West.  I know her lawyer is trying to pour cold water on this so to speak something Delonte should have done to himself.  This alleged incident could go down as one of the City's worst sports moments especially if the King runs away from home via free agency.  You already had the drive that crushed the city (Elway), the fumble (Byner), the shot (MJ over Ehlo), the move (Browns bolting for B-more), and the 1997 Game 7 World Series lose to the Marlins (no nickname sorry).  Now you have The Affair and ironically teams all year were worried about stopping Lebron in the post season and all it took was momma!  On the bright side for Lebron at least your mom didn't sleep with Tiger.

Can Abstinence Cause Neck Pain?

Well it turns out Tiger Woods only has an "inflamed facet joint" that is causing his neck pain. Now none of the doctor's will say it but I will, Tiger's neck injury is probably do him constantly looking over his shoulder to see if he is about to be served divorce papers.  Or perhaps it is from a lack of sex? Could you imagine how much funnier this story would be if Tiger had a wrist injury?  Or blisters on his palm?  I still can not believe Nike is not selling "Tiger Woods Blue Balls." Everyone would be playing with those things, except Elin of course. 

Things have been tough for Tiger lately (all-time understatement by me), first his neck, then his swing coach quit, and now TMZ says his wife is lawyering up for the big divorce. My neck would hurt like hell if I was about to lose half of my fortune.   To me the most amazing part of this Tiger meltdown since Thanksgiving is Elin still has not officially filed for divorce.  I mean this woman must not ever surf the net, watch TV, read newspapers (well no one does anymore), listen to the radio, or talk to her neighbors (Tiger allegedly got to know one of them well she was part of the 121 he shot).

I could sit go on and on about how traumatic this must be for the kids, but that stuff is not funny.  Sure he is technically still the world's Number #1 but he sure does not play like it anymore. (Could the "Buddha Bracelet" be to blame? Just sayin' )  No one must feel worse about what's happened than PGA Commissioner Tim Finchem.  I mean this guy had the world in the palm of his hand as long as Tiger didn't retire, suffer a career ending injury, or as we come to find out screw everything in site.  If Tiger does not come out of the funk the PGA Tour will certainly slide back to the sucky TV ratings they used to get when just old white men fell asleep watching it on the weekends.  Finchem might want to start thinking about another sports league maybe he could see if Roger Goodell needs any help with the NFL's confusing drug policy.

It's not just Finchem that needs Tiger to be Tiger. The entire world of golf needs him.  So he needs to man up and tell Elin to either serve the papers or get over it and be a good wife (for the record I do not believe this).  If she says go f#$X yourself well, which she will, at least he will no longer be snapping his sore neck around wondering where and when the papers are coming.  Then Tiger should treat himself to a dinner and dessert like he used too at the local Perkins in Orlando because clearly he is not capable of playing Championship golf with blue balls.

Hey, Hey, Hey Where's Fat Albert?

The Redskins had a "voluntary" mini-camp this weekend where 99% of the players were in attendance.  The lone absentee just happened to be the team's highest paid player Albert Haynesworth or better known as in DC now as Fat Albert.  The irony to me is the cartoon character Bill Cosby created was the best friend a guy could have.  He was always there for his buddies, meanwhile, the Skins Fat Albert can't even muster up the strength to show up to these "voluntary" workouts to support his teammates and meet his new coaching staff.  Ok while we are on a cartoon kick here remember the great scene in "Spiderman" when Peter Parker's Uncle Ben tells him, "with great powers comes great responsibility."  Well in pro sports with great talent and BIG contracts comes great responsibility, but someone forgot to let Fat Albert in on it maybe he did not have an Uncle Ben. 

So where's the beef ...besides on the Fat Albert's breakfast/lunch/dinner/and second dinner plate you might ask?  It appears Fat Albert does not want to play in the new 3-4 defense of new Defensive Coordinator Jim Haslett.  His peeps contends this is not what Fat Albert signed up for last off-season where he broke the bank for over $100(m).  So he is only going to show up when the workouts are mandatory.  I just hope for his sake he's in shape (unlike last year) when he does show or Mike Shanahan's face might get even redder than its normal shade. Most everyone that has ever had a real job has had to deal with some sort of change at work and sometimes it really sucks.  However, most of us just suck it up and deal with it b/c we understand that is what employees do or you get fired.  It is not that simple in pro sports especially when you are the highest paid employee.  Fat Albert has the hammer, but that doesn't make it right and it certainly is not going to win you any popularity contests among the fans. 

Meanwhile, Fat Albert's teammates really are not defending him.  They just say things like, when he gets here he will fit in.  I had a chance to talk to a couple of his defensive teammates this past weekend on 1067 The Fan, Chris Wilson and HB Blades both would not rip their absent teammate, but in the next breath both talked about the importance of these voluntary sessions for learning the new system and bonding with their teammates.  Mike Wise in his column in Monday's Washington Post http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/05/09/AR2010050903014.html has some juicy stuff from teammates like Phillip Daniels. "It says this is voluntary, but for us, what we went through last season after a 4-12 season, it's mandatory," Daniels said. "He should definitely be here. And it's a shame he's not." So it's not some crazy fan/media frenzy getting on Fat Albert's case here.  Did I mention the new guy, you know #5 Donovan McNabb is already getting real high marks for his leadership skills as he not just fits in with a new team but makes it his. In only a months time McNabb has clearly earned the respect of the locker room something Fat Albert may never be able to do. 

Notes: The latest Clinton Portis v. Lavar Arrington war of words got me to thinking, who hasn't this guy gotten into a verbal war of words with?  Remember the great battles with Brian Mitchell, "my pockets are straight!"  I believe there was a battle with Riggo too and of course he dogged Jason Campbell this off-season.  I mean, Who's next Mark Mosley?  How about one of the Zendejas brothers or how about a dead legend like Sammy Baugh?  I mean enough already Clinton.  Just run the damn football like you did in Denver and you can rip franchise favorites like Art Monk and Darrell Green or even Sonny and Sam.  Just produce again and it's all good.

Tasered Fan=Teaching Moment

Most of the news and sports talking heads are wasting their and our time debating whether the force was excessive in the tasering of a 17-year old (Steven Consalvi) that ran onto the field at a Phillies game this week (OK IF I was actually working this week I too would be wasting the world's time on this topic...Bitter..YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT! THIS TOPIC WAS MADE FOR ME). Anyway, the bigger question is where were the players? I mean what is the deal with the Phillies Outfield? What a bunch of sissy's to sit back and watch! No Mike Curtis among them? The Former Baltimore Colts LB once jacked up a fan that ran on the field during a game. His point was it was his office! Stay out. Exactly! Good for the Police for using force maybe the next idiot will think twice OR maybe not because some drunk tried the next night no taser unfortunately. By the way give the Phillies Fans credit for booing the copycat who unfortunately was not tased b/c he surrendered to security (sissy!).

Of course the news media loves to pick up these stories and run them into the ground. Why are Police using tasers more often, blah, blah, blah. Would it have been better if they clubbed the dumb ass? Or just pulled out the 9m and shot him? They have no clue what the idiot is up too when he comes charging onto the field. I mean did he really think they would chase him like they did to Tanner in the "Bad News Bears in Breaking Training", and fans would start to scream "let them play, let them play?" My favorite part of the story is the kid called his dad and the father said "does not sound like a good idea to me." Yet the dumb kid did it anyway! Did he think he was in an episode of MTV's "Jackass"? This video is gold for all fathers of "knuckle head son's" and aren't all son's knuckle heads? (I should know) I have showed this video at least 10 times to both my boys and explained, "This is why you listen to your parents because we are ALWAYS RIGHT." (It is ok I had my fingers crossed)

Notes: Bret Michaels, gave us Something to Believe In! He is headed home after suffering a brain hemorrhage. I'm no doctor, hell I went to ODU for goodness sakes, but I'm just saying maybe just maybe wearing bandanas every day could be a problem or those cheesy cowboy hats? Just saying.

Lucky Charms Mascot Wins 3rd Derby

He entertained us for years in those silly commercials for that sugar based cereal now Calvin Borel has strung together three Kentucky Derby wins. What a life! (Ok cheap joke, but man thank goodness for horse racing or all the "little people" that's the PC name for them b/c they don't want to be called midgets anymore. Anyway, if it wasn't for horse racing they would have to settle for Reality TV or those stupid "Austin Powers" movies unless of course they had a remake of the "Wizard of Oz.") I have to admit I thought with a name like Super Saver, the horse was owned by the people from Wal-Mart, but the Kentucky Derby is hardly the Wal-Mart crowd. Well at least the part they show us on TV. No it is rich people with woman wearing stupid hats and getting stupid drunk. The Wal-Mart crowd hangs at the infield of the Preakness in Bal-more drinking Natty Bo's.

Speaking of acting drunk, what about Calvin Borel? I mean good thing he is in a sport (use that term loosely) that allows obnoxious celebration without penalty. I mean this guy would make Deion Sanders and Chad Ochocinco blush with all his post race antics. Roger Goodell would suspend him for the season if he was in the NFL. The NBA would triple technical him, MLB pitchers would throw at him all the time for showing them up, and in the NHL they would just call him "Ovie." I mean you would think after winning two already you would understand the phrase, "Act like you've been there." Also, was it me or was he degrading the woman who interviewed him after the race? How many times can you say baby, honey, sweety and "make me a turkey pot pie bitch", and not get called out?

If anyone should have been over celebrating it should have been the guy (Glen Fullerton of Houston, TX) who won the dream bet. I mean the chance to throw $100,000 grand on one horse and the best part is you are betting with someone else's money. Well CNBC money and Churchill Downs to be exact. (I was shocked to learn CNBC actually made profit. I mean no one watches the "lefty talk shows" right? They only like the angry "righty talk shows" oh wait...even worse CNBC is the channel you tune that tells you that your retirement fund has been drained and Goldman Sachs are a bunch of thieves, my bad. Is that the channel where they used to show the dead guy on radio Don Imus, sorry not dead just looks it) So this Fullerton guy bet on Borel and Super Saver and boy did they come through for him by and paid $900,000. Can you imagine $900,000 for one race! Wow what a life changer and this guy says he won't spend it all in one place. However, for those of you watching we all know where he should spend it. On a new toupee or buy hair club for men or perhaps a DC favorite Mr. Ray's hair weave. Anything is better than the dead animal he wore on his head Saturday, although it may be his lucky charm like a rabbit's foot.  Not that it matters now that he has $900,000 in his bank account because the ladies will over look the toupee for $$$. Just ask Donald Trump!

Caps Need DC Traffic in Game 7

Shortly after getting "Halaked" in Montreal the Capitals players and head coach praised the Canadians goalie and their own effort.  Many said it was their best game of the series, but sometimes in hockey the goalie is the great equalizer.  Not sure if anyone said Halak was "standing on his head", but they should have because he was that good.  I feel like I have seen this series every year as a Capitals fan.  Caps run into hot goalie and lose despite outshooting opponent. I promised myself I would not talk about "Ghosts of Playoffs Past" because most these players were not born or in another country.  Also, let me first admit for those of you that don't know.  I am not to be confused with the great Don Cherry, Barry Melrose, or hell even Peter Puck (remember that cool cartoon?) when it comes to breaking down hockey.  However, I do know when to shut up and listen to those that do like Melrose and Alan May on Caps Post Game Live with Smokin' Al Koken. 

So here's what the experts had to say, first yes they credited the goaltending (I mean the dude had 53 saves), and secondly they said the Capitals just did not get enough traffic in front of the Montreal netminder. (I mean how ironic a team from DC not knowing about traffic!) Melrose (great mullet) pointed out only one guy is not enough and May also added they needed to shot at the blocker side of the goalie.  Hopefully Bruce Boudreau (the Penguin) will see this after watching the film too.  I like Boudreau although lately he seems A LOT uptight and I understand why because IF the Caps choke this series away he might get fired OR perhaps GM George McPhee might get fired for failing to find a true blue line defenseman or dominate netminder for this roster OR maybe both get the gate.  Someone will likely pay the price. 

You can not win The Presidents Trophy and get iced in the first round after a 3-1 series lead with the two time reigning MVP on your team.  Boudreau has never coached in a playoff series that has not gone 7 games.  Is that all his fault?  OF course not however, changing the guy in front of the room is always the easiest and usually most effective move in hockey.  I do worry that his team is feeling the pressure and griping their sticks too hard because of the tone he is setting in the locker room. This will also be an indictment on The Great 8 if the Caps go down to Montreal.  First the disappointing run in the Olympics with Team Russia and then losing in Round 1 to an 8 seed.  In order to make this Magic/Bird comparison between Crosby and Ovechkin, eventually Ovie has to win more than just individual awards.  The safe bet still is Ovechkin will come out guns blazing on Wednesday night and the Caps will dominate the Canadians much like the Penguins did to them just a year ago in round 2 after they forced a Game 7.  If they don't we will be talking about getting "Halaked" all off season.

NFL Draft: Clausen Spends Night with Erin Andrews

Many people feel sorry for Jimmy Clausen because the Notre Dame QB, who has been called the most pro ready fell out of the first round Thursday night. I for one do not. Did you notice who was spending her time at his house? ESPN/Dancing with the Stars Erin Andrews! I bet Clausen told his agent to discourage teams from selecting him. The longer the process the longer he can hang out with Andrews. It was nice to see her on TV without seeing her feeling up that dance partner of hers. I mean enough already!

Did I mention I NEVER WATCH the show, but my DVR flips over for the final 5 minutes because I tape "Lost", which now sucks. Anyway, I was happy to see that pain in the ass Kate Gosselin get kicked off the show. Is her 15 minutes up yet? Also, I thought she was this great mother, where are the kids with the deadbeat dad? Enough with these losers already! I never watched "Kate Plus 8" either, but I know about thes show because you can't get away from it or any of these other "reality" shows. All the morning news shows recap them, radio shows too, and the internet. What would people do if they didn't have these lame shows to talk about? Politics?  What would I blog about?
How about the NFL draft?

A brief thought on the Redskins....SCAREY! They picked a need position and did not do anything stupid like trade away draft picks for losers.  Has anyone seen Dan Snyder? Did Mike Shanahan lock him in a closet? Also, was it may imagination or did Jon "Chucky" Gruden like everyone’s picks?  I mean what a suck up or maybe just keeping his options open in case he wants back in the coaching mix.  Anyone else think Tom Jackson was drunk? He said #13 is in the division with the Houston Texans when referring to the Indianapolis Colts. I believe Peyton Manning wears #18 still. I also gave NFL Network a try for a while; however Mike Mayock talks about guy’s measurements like he should be on the LOGO Network. "He is a 6-6 and 285 lbs, and has long arms, soft hands, soft eyes, pouty lips, and likes long walks on the beach..." Someone find Chris Hanson and set up sting operation.

The debate about who God's favorite team can now end. It is the Denver Broncos...well at least that is where his son will be playing. Tim Tebow did make it in the first round and if you missed the interview with Jeremy "I'm not as good as dad" Schaap, here is the highlights....Tim will work hard and do whatever you ask. He only said that a MILLION times. Tebow is a super person and even circumcised the baby at his viewing party, but please 3 picks for him? Is Josh McDaniels a complete idiot? Trading away a Pro Bowl QB and WR in less than two years and now giving up three picks for a guy who just learned to throw the football in the past 2-3 months?! I mean sure the Broncos are a Character team now, but I thought it was about winning football not running the local Girl Scouts troop. Well if nothing else as Thom Brennaman surely said somewhere last night, "the people of Denver and Broncos fans will all be better off just from just drafting Tim Tebow." AMEN

Class-Less Canadians: Get Ready For Golf

I can only imagine how much it must suck to not have an NHL franchise win a title in YOUR Country's sport since 1993 (Montreal).  I mean franchises like Dallas, Tampa, Anaheim, and Carolina have won titles since. Just imagine if the NBA's title winners were always the Toronto Raptors or another team from a foreign country like the LA Clippers or is that another planet?  (By the way did you know James Naismith the inventor of Basketball is actually Canadian? We steal everything and make it ours, ask the Indians. Give me your tired, your poor, and talented Canadians) Sure the majority of the players on these NHL's franchise's are still Canadians, but surely they like the United States better now.  Just like all the good CFL guys are from the United States (i.e. Doug Flutie).

So I guess it is not shocking that the Great fans of the Montreal Canadians booed and chanted during our nations national anthem before last night's Game 3 against the Washington Capitals. Did I mention the Caps drilled them 5-1.  They even chanted OVIE Sucks late in the game!  I mean that is the biggest joke in Canada since Keanu Reeves. For the record I like Canadians.  We even have some friends from Canada.  They are easy going and know how to have a good time, but when it comes to hockey they get pretty damn serious North of the border.  I think they are still doing a victory lap over the Gold Medal Game from this years Olympics. 

So I will not hold last night's classless display in Montreal against them. It probably was the all the French Canadians.  No need to worry about these angry fans because this series will soon be in the Capitals rear view mirror. Golf courses all around Montreal will be picking up some serious business in the next week.  I am concerned about how they might freak out if we nail this national healthcare thing.  I mean are they going to be jealous about that too?  Is it just going to be another thing the "Big Old Bad" United States stole and ruined?  You know like Pamela Anderson. God forbid we became enemies with Canada.  That would be the end of Molson, Labatts, Moosehead, Crown Royal, Bryan Adams, and Bob and Doug McKenzie in this country.  We promise not to steal anything else and by all means keep curling to yourself and Minnesota.

Big Ben About To Be Violated

A few seasons ago the NFL Players Union stupidly decided to give up their rights to due process for some reason and now Roger Goodell is more powerful than most dictators when it comes to handing out punishment.  I know most fans think this is great, but for someone that actually was once in a union I think it is complete BS.  At the very least players should have gotten a little something back from the league, like the ability to play football without their shirts tucked in or maybe the throat slash gesture could become legal again. 

Anyway, the NFL commissioner Roger Goodell appearing on the Dan Patrick Show Monday said Ben Roethlisberger has violated the NFL's personal conduct policy.  What does that mean?  It is now Big Ben's turn to get touched where he doesn't want too.  His wallet most likely thanks to what should be at the very least a multiple game suspension.  http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=5113322  The Commish also told former Big Show member Patrick, "The issue here is respect to a pattern of behavior."  For a refresher course pattern of behavior suspensions under Goodell's watch have gone to Adam "Pacman" Jones for a full season although he never was found guilty in a court of law for doing things like "making it rain" at strip clubs or having bouncers at strip clubs shot.  So Goodell can do whatever he wants to Big Ben much like Big Ben allegedly does to really drunk college girls. 

Goodell has a reputation of a no nonsense guy, but dealing with Big Ben will not be easy b/c he is a QB and a damn good one too.  You don't want to go soft on your "stars" however; if you go too hard on him then you send a message that you think the guy is a serial rapist (which he may be).  Do not overlook the racial aspect of this situation because certainly the players will not.  This will be Goodell's first big suspension of a white player and remember many thought he went soft on the Patriots for "spygate."  All of these factors make Goodell's decision extremely delicate.  Then after the smoke clears the ball is in the Steelers court. How do you weigh the off field successes against the off-field embarrassment?  That will be the toughest call of them all. 

Bad Role Models Everywhere

I was listening to Round 3 of The Masters on the Radio in DC this weekend when some analyst got overly excited about Tiger Woods cursing himself out on the golf course. Woods said something to the effect "Tiger You Suck", something I am sure Elin has said to him many times since Thanksgiving. Anyway, the Analyst then went on a rant about kids watching and how he's a role model, blah, blah, blah. I understand that some expect so much more from the Varsity Letterman (Breakfast Club Reference). Why? Just because someone is good at their craft does not make them perfect. Now to be fair most of the criticism is Tiger's fault because he foolishly pledged he would be better behaved on the golf course. Call me old fashioned, but I think first he should master not sleeping with the local waitresses at Perkins, then move onto the on course cursing issue. I mean it’s like asking a smoker to quit smoking and drinking at the same time. Not happening!

The other amusing thing about The Masters was all the applause Tiger received. Those were not impressionable kids cheering it was their parents. So if you are among the group of parents that wants every athlete to be a role model, then stop cheering for the assholes. I also am pretty sure that was not a kids camp giving Mark McGwire the standing ovation in St. Louis at the Cardinals home opener. No again, probably parents and it will probably be parents cheering for Big Ben this year in Pittsburgh. I'm not here to defend athletes because they certainly should be held to a high standard, but they screw up like the rest of us. It doesn't mean kids should stop watching or caring about sports, but a little parental guidance goes along way.

I grew up in a time where some of my biggest Sports Idols ended up screwing up royally. One even died of a cocaine overdose (Len Bias RIP), but I never touched cocaine or even thought about it. Dexter Manley was one of my favorite Redskin's and he was a major drug addict. I loved Riggo too and still do, but he had his off the field issues. Sugar Ray Leonard was my favorite boxer, he was involved in drugs and accused of domestic abuse. Even my favorite musician Eddie Van Helen had his off stage issues (alcohol, drugs, bimbos). Somehow I have not needed to be sent to Trembling Hills yet. Why? I guess because my parents never bullshited me into thinking athletes, musicians, or politicians were better than the rest of us regular folks. I try to do the same with my kids and it works pretty well. I have them convinced the Dallas Cowboys are part of a terrorist organization.

I mean are athletes are no more important to our culture than teachers, clergy, politicians, and police. All the other industries mentioned have their share of scandals too (and their role models). I mean daily you can find a story about some sicko teacher touching kids or Priest for that matter. Also, Police using their badge for things like sex, illegal payments, drugs, or old fashioned brutality. Politicians well...where to start?  How about wide stance Larry Craig or John Edwards, the Southern Gentleman cheating on his dying wife and has a love child and now sex tape! I should also mention the Tea Party they embarrass this country daily! Then there is Hollywood the folks that actually make as much or more than most athletes and most of them act like jackasses all the time. There are bad people in every profession and salary scale, but there is also a group worthy of being called role models. The kids will learn that whether Tiger curses or says "gosh darn" in front of the microphones. They just need their parents to explain it to them instead of cheering for these idiots.